Wordless Wednesday

Update

So, I've returned to blogging...again. I did not have the desire to blog for a long time. But with my grief, being worse than it has in a while, I've gotten the need to write again.
So what has happened since last time? I know there are some things I never even shared. Let me try and sum up our life briefly.

• We got pregnant last year in August 2012.
• We had our rainbow baby in April 2013...healthy as can be -- 9lbs 2 ounces and 21 inches long.
• Our rainbow's name is Graysen. Not spelled Grayson, Greyson...just Graysen. I guess that's a battle we will have the rest of his life.
• Lucas finished second grade and started in 3rd.
• Lucas does great in school but hates homework. I think that's a typical boy thing.
• Lucas takes private swimming lessons and LOVES it.
• Lucas was so afraid of getting his head under water but now you can't keep him out of the water.
• Lucas also has opened up about Noah since Graysen was born. He really talks about his feelings regarding Noah and his death and I think that's so good that he has, after two years, finally gotten to that point.
• We remodeled our bathroom over the winter. I absolutely LOVE it. It's so elegant (if I say so myself). We remodeled while I was pregnant, so I couldn't help with anything at all, since we were worried that we could harm the baby growing in me (after you had a loss you get very paranoid.)
• My hubby is doing great. Everything he does, he does great -- whether it's running his business, riding his bike or just taking care of us and our needs.
• My hubby started a Team Noah bicycling team in memory of our angel. We have some really great riders on our team. I love that we are doing this in his memory and that his legacy continues on.
• The team website is teamnoahfoundation.com. Please visit and come back :-)
• We still have our crazy dog, Pippa. She's a border collie so she has tons of energy.
• We've had her now for little over a year and she has come so far with her behavior.
• Lucas and I took her to puppy class and she listens so good. We still have a ways to go, but she's a good dog.

I think this is it for now. I'll try to keep you all updated a little more often.

Grief..I just want to punch you in the face

I've been struggling lately. I've been struggling a lot. Grief has snuck up on me again and totally taking a hold of me. I miss Noah. I miss him so, so much.
I don't know why I'm hurting so much. It's not like there's any milestones coming up or it's his "time of year". I've been doing so good for a while. Sure I've missed Noah and shed tears for him, but I've been able to live life and enjoy it. I'm still doing that, but I've just been down in the pits a lot and tears have come daily and so easily.
A lot might not know this. I keep this to myself (except for my hubby). I guess I don't want to bother anyone. And really, there's nothing "new" to report, because it's still the same. I miss him. I miss holding him. This morning while driving to work I thought of when I was holding him and for a second I felt him in my arms. It was amazing but it also freaked me out for a second.
Every time when I drive to work I go by the hospital where Noah was born. Normally I never think of the events that occurred there, cause he was only there the two days I was there and then he was transferred to his "permanent" home. But now when I go by the hospital I cry, I think back to the first time I layed eyes on him, our first consultations with doctors etc.
So I'm navigating this tough time with the help of my sweet husband. He's my rock. But I also picked up one of my grief books. I found a beautiful poem:

 

 

Do not stand

at my grave and weep

I am not there,

I do not sleep.

 

 

I am a thousand

winds that blow.

I am the diamond

glints on snow.

 

 

I am the sunlight

On the ripened grain.

I am the gentle Autumn's rain.

 

 

When you awaken

in the morning hush,

I am the swift uplifting rush

of quiet birds in

circled flight.

I am the soft stars

that shine at night.

 

 

Do not stand

at my grave and cry.

I am not there.

I did not die.

 

 

 

~ Hopi Prayer

13 Years Down!

Today is my wedding anniversary...13 years. Wow! That just makes me feel old to think of that I've been married that long. I got married young...I was only 22. Yep, I just gave away my age (I don't get why women can't say how old they are anyway). But really it was one of the best decisions I've ever made in my life.
As a teenager I never thought I would get married or even have kids. I loved the few years I was single. They were great. But the day I met my husband all that changed in an instance. I fell madly in love. Only problem was that I had to leave four months after we met. Big bummer. We were apart for a year. This was before Skype and even when emailing wasn't very big yet. We communicated by phone and letters for that one year. After that one year I decided to leave everything I knew. My home, my country, my culture. I wanted to go be with this awesome guy.
After three months of living together we got married. I couldn't stand the thought of leaving him again, so off to the court house we went. No big, white, poufy wedding dress. No church. No big party. Just me, my husband to be and his parents.
I've never regretted that decision. I mean how can I? He has given me everything I could ever ask for. A home to call ours, three beautiful boys and one crazy dog.
He not only takes care of my heart but also my family. I've never met anyone that works SO hard to provide for us.
We've had a lot of ups but just like any other couple also some downs. The biggest down was when our beautiful middle son died. Something like that can tear a couple apart. I can't lie. We struggled too. But we came out on top and stronger than ever. Our love survived the initial shock of saying goodbye to our son. Now we work together while grieving and mourning the life we should have had. We enjoy parenting the two beautiful boys we do get to snuggle and kiss on every day on this earth. They are our everything. My family is my everything. I get up every morning only to look forward to the evening when we are all together again and just being us.
So 13 years of crazy, beautiful craziness. Something I would do ALL over again if I was given the choice.
We always have talked about we wanted the BIG party with family and friends in Denmark. At first it was going to be our 10 year anniversary. Well that came and went (and I was also pregnant with our angel that year). We haven't really made any new goals. But who knows? I would love to renew my vows. Maybe in Denmark or maybe somewhere exotic. Until then I'll just continue breathing in this beautiful life of mine.

Love you sweetie cakes! (was that too cheesy for you? ;-)  ) 

Wordless Wednesday

Watch out!

Thanks so much for listening to me rant below. I appreciate it that there still are people who never will forget about Noah either. So thank you, thank you.
To lighten the mood a bit around here, why don't I share a couple of pics of Lucas's Halloween costume. This year was a challenging one. Or it was going to be. I always make Lucas's costume. I just enjoy it, and I think that my costumes are waay cuter than store bought ones :-) I hope Lucas will remember as an adult how his momma slaved and busted butt trying to get his costume done in time. 
So this year he wanted to be Sonic The Hedgehog. I found a neat tutorial online on how to make it. I thought to myself that it didn't look to hard....Boy, was I wrong or what? I was in the middle of coming up with a plan B on how to make this darn thing when Lucas told me :"I changed my mind". I told him that we already had bought the blue fabric to make Sonic and a Ninja in blue? Yes, he wanted to be a blue Ninja. Come to find out, after a little internet research, that there actually are all kinds of different colored Ninja's out there. Who would have known? So big relief from me...much more simplier to make a Ninja costume. And here is the end result. I wasn't too impressed with this years costume. I know I've done better in years past, but Lucas was happy and really..in the end that is all that matters.

 

 

 

 

Lucas wasn't too keen on having his pictures taken. As you can see in his eyes he wasn't feeling well at this point. Mean mommy...it was first afterwards I realized that something was up with him. We have now been home for days from school and work. It seems like the worst is behind him.

Thankful?

As Thanksgiving is approaching I'm thinking of what do I have to be grateful for...but I can also real quick mention what I'm not grateful for.
Yes, I have plenty to be grateful for. A beautiful LIVING son, an amazing husband, a house to call home, jobs to help pay our bills. Yes...that is absolutely something not to take for granted. But, then there is the big BUT....Everytime I think of what I'm grateful for I'm reminded of what I'm not grateful for. I'm not grateful for that I have a DEAD son. A son that I never got to bring him home from the hospital, that I will never watch taking his first steps or never watch him walk bare feet in the grass, he will never feel the sun on his face, watch the birds fly and sing....and I could go on, and go on and go on. I hate grief. I HATE missing my son.
You don't realize how much you take having healthy children for granted until you experience the loss of a child. I know I did! I was so unaware of what can go wrong during pregnancy when I was expecting my first.

Which reminds me of a quote from a book called Empty Cradle, Broken Heart. This is a great book, really explains a lot of my feelings that are so hard to describe to others.

"I suppose I should say, "It's so unfair, but I don't wish other moms and babies harm." But oh, I do. I know it's not right and I don't want children to die, but I want those mothers to feel what I feel so I'm less isolated, so I'm not the only one. I am slightly disappoint when a healthy baby is born --they don't know how lucky they are. --Stephanie.

I can totally relate to that. When you hear someone complain about their child, you so wish they would know how lucky and blessed they are. How thankful they should be!

And you are so isolated when you are grieving. Everyone move on when your child does, but your world stops turning. And of course their lives should go on, but it's so hard to be left behind and you so wish that someone would grab you and help you. But walking the path of grief is very isolating, very lonely. I remember when I was expecting my sweet angel and when we found out that he was sick, there was a coworker of mine who was always very interested in hearing the latest. How my pregnancy was progressing, what the latest was that the doctors told us, how the prognosis was looking like for our angel. But after I returned to work, after my sweet angel passed and no longer was a person on this earth, this coworker of mine has not said a SINGLE word to me about my angel. No condolences, no nothing! And I know it's not because she's not a caring person, but I know she's uncomfortable and just don't know what to say. Or that she might upset me. Well, guess what? You can't upset a grieving mother or father, because we just don't forget that our child died. It always makes me warm and happy when someone asks me about my angel. It just makes my day!!

I know people might think that in x amount of time you should be "over it". That you should move on.

"While you may feel that you are successfully distracting yourself from grief, you are actually a prisoner of your grief. To free yourself, you can't go over it, you can't go under it, you can't go around it, you just have to go through it. Remember that grief is not a sign of weakness, rather, it takes strenght and courage to acknowledge your emotions."

I'm now on year two of grieving. I think that year two is harder than the first year. I guess the initial shock has worn off and, now I'm living my life without my son. The life I had pictured us living as a family of four is still a life of just three people. I always say that the worst day of my life was not the day my son died, but the day that we found out about his heart. From that day on we knew he might be with us for a shorter amount of time than anticipated. It was always in the back of my mind that he might not make it. For crying out loud - he would require surgery...on his heart!! Not a walk in the park.

"While the death of a parent or friend represents a loss of your past, when your baby dies you lose a part of your future. You grieve not only for your baby, but for your parenthood. Times you had looked forward to --maternity leave, family gatherings and holidays -- can seem worthless or trivial without your baby."

This may sound like an angry post, but really...I just miss my son. I wanted him here with us with all my heart, hear him cry, to watch him grow, the opportunity to speak his name more...his beautiful name.

So this Thanksgiving I will try and stay positive, to be thankful, to be in the moment.

Safari Cake

Over the weekend I made a cake for a baby shower. A sweet friend of mine was hosting a shower for a family member and had asked me if I was up for the challenge. Of course. I don't say no to making a cake when it's something I love to do.

My friend had given me the animals that she wanted me to use for the cake. From that I decided the rest of the design.

The cake was a two layer 12" chocolate cake with buttercream icing as the filling. The palm trees are made out of pretzel rods. I wrapped fondant around them and cut little snips in the trees with a scissor to make it look more like a palm tree trunk. The palm leaves are made out of fondant and attached with some wire. Only thing not edible on the cake :-)

The water is made out of piping gel, which I added some food color to to make it look like water.

I used some buttercream icing for some grass and brown sugar for some dirt around the trees.

Wordless Wednesday

Aching

Some days are worse than others. Lately I've been really missing Noah. And I'm sitting and bawling, which I haven't done in a long, long time. I cry a lot, but bawling? That has been a while. I just can't believe it's been 14 months since the last time I held Noah. My sweet, precious Noah. I miss him so much. I try to describe what it feels like, but there just ain't no words. There is a hole in my heart, and I know it will never, ever go away.

Noah should be closer to the 18 months now. He should be walking around, probably falling down on his butt a lot. We should be telling him "to get up again". We should be constantly watching him, so he won't get into anything he shouldn't. Instead I'm talking into the air to him. Instead I'm watching a lot of sunrises and sunsets thinking that he's sending his love to us. Instead I'm watching the lone star in the sky knowing that's my Noah looking down upon us, watching us, protecting us.

When I really miss him I watch videos and pictures of him. That helps me. I've asked everyone I know, who's taken pictures of Noah, to please give me a copy. I'm still waiting for the pictures Dwayne's family took. I'm excited to see them. I've never seen the pictures they took. But I'm in no rush to get them. I will be a nice surprise, but it will also be the last time I'll ever see a new picture of Noah. Every single picture I got of him is etched in my memory. Some more than others. I still want to make a photo album of him and his short life.

I've never shared this picture before. This was taken when we were at the hospital where I delivered him. Noah stayed in the NICU while I recovered for the normal two days. He was stable, so there was no need to rush him to Children's hospital. He was just chilling and hanging out. Dwayne and Lucas was there on the second evening of Noah's life visiting us. Dwayne was so eager to see Noah that they quickly went to go see him before they came and got me. We had a really sweet nurse the couple of days we were there. She had mentioned the day before that when Lucas came back she wanted to take a picture of the brothers. So she did! She took two. She's also the one that wrote "brothers" on the picture. Even though the quality of the picture is not very good, I love it. My three boys. I miss having them all three together. I'm sure they would be soo rowdy.

 

 

And here is a picture we got from my in laws. I think this picture is so beautiful. Look at how Dwayne is looking at his son. The picture just says LOVE all over it. I loved that first week with Noah when we had plenty of opportunities to hold and cradle him. He was barely hooked up to anything. Just some medication to keep his PDA (hole in the heart all newborns are born with but closes soon after birth) open and some nutrition via IV.

 

 

So this is what has been going on a lot lately...grief. Something that is so hard to explain to someone who don't know the pain of loosing a child. I'm reading a great grief book right now that describes so many of the feelings and emotions you experience when you go thru a trauma like that of having a child die. I've marked down many things that I want to share here on the blog. But I know it's gonna be a lenghty entry and it will take me a while. And I also got to be in the right mindset to write it. But it's on my list to do.

 

 

Parenting advice

Yes. I need help. Not with Lucas...no the other child in the house, the dog. She's so good at pushing my buttons. And I think I'm pretty strict. I want well mannered children. And Pippa ain't that right now. She WILL NOT listen when we are outside. Totally ignores me. Selective hearing is in full force. I've tried treats and calling for her. Sometimes it works, other times not so much. And if we are in the front yard she will run after people because she wants to talk to them. And our road is soo busy. And again she totally ignores me when I tell her no or stay. Today we picked up Lucas from school and she gets so excited to see all the kids. She jumps and wants to greet everyone. Please give me some good advice. I think it's almost time to take some puppy classes, but I wanted to wait until she had gotten all her puppy shots, which will be another four weeks. So what can I do????

A New World

Growing up I had a couple of cats. I loved them. Both of them were my little companion when my mom, a single mom, had to work long hours, and I was home by myself. I left home when I was 20 to move to the US and my cat stayed with my mom. I never got another pet again. I just wasn't interested in them anymore.

As Lucas grew up a few people would tell me once in a while that Lucas needed a dog. Every boy needed a little dog. I was always very fast to say "No way". I just didn't find anything interesting about dogs. Hated to jumping up on you, hated the hair. Just plainly didn't care for them. Then something happened. I don't know what exactly. But dogs started to be cuter to me. Whenever we would meet a dog at a park, campground etc. it would always melt my heart how Lucas would go and pet them, and I could just see it in his eyes how much he adored dogs. And then there is our horrible heart break that we experienced last year. Lucas went through a trauma. A huge one. And as a heart mom and angel mom, I just can't stop the thought and fear of loosing another child. It's horrifying. You can't shake those emotions. But I have an amazing seven year old, and I want him to experience everything life has to offer. And I want him to experience the greatest love I think there is. The unconditional love a dog will give you.
We also thought that Lucas is at a great age. And we only got that confirmed when we went camping in May, and he played with a dog, a border collie/black lab, all day long. He loved that dog. Couldn't barely get him to eat any meals, because he had to go back and play with the dog. We then promised him that we would get him a dog after my dad and stepmom left.
When they left a couple of weeks ago the search started. We knew we wanted a border collie. An active dog that we could teach to play fetch, go for walks, runs and even bike rides. I looked a lot online. It was like looking for another job! Very time consuming. I first looked at shelters and rescues. We went to look at a couple, but they just didn't fit us or our personalities. I changed my search to look for border collie puppies. I found a few breeders in Missouri. One had a litter just five weeks old, but they were located over four hours away from us. A far drive not knowing if we would like the dog and we had to put a non refundable deposit down to hold a dog. We just couldn't do it. We knew the right dog would come along.
The next day I looked online again and to my surprise I found a breeder right in town. We went last Sunday to look at the six puppies she had. Come to find out she had only listed them the day before, a mere two hours before I looked online. What are the chances? They say when it's meant to be you just know, right? We think we found the cutest dog. A little girl dog, named Pippa. (Yes, she is named after the sister of Kate Middleton, who is now married to Prince William.) We thought about changing her name, but none of us could think of a different name, and we all seemed to agree that the name just was hers. We could have taken Pippa home with us last Sunday, but since we've never had a dog we had nothing for her. We asked to pick her up Friday, so we could get things for her, but also have a whole weekend to make her comfortable in her new home.

She's now home and doing pretty good. She's VERY active. But she also rests and sleeps a lot. She cried a lot the first night in her crate, but last night it was much better. The first 24 hours with us she would pee in the house a lot. But the last almost 24 hours she has done her business outside. I've been taking her out a lot, and everytime she has gone. (knock on wood).

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

A beautiful sunrise for my beautiful Noah, who today is 15 months old.

The latest...

Well, really I won't be writing about the latest in just one post. But it's been a while, and I'll just really quick explain why.
First and foremost my dad and step mom came to visit us. We just took them to the airport yesterday and said our "see you later" to them. It was so hard. It's always so hard. I miss my family. I miss having them around. Oh why, do they have to be so far away? But we had a ton of fun with them. We had a lot of laughs, lot of wine and beer and a lot of good talks. So different from when they were here a year ago when Noah passed away. A year ago I was walking around in a fog. Couldn't see what was right in front of me...didn't even care. This year our visit with them was so much clearer. I think it was good therapy for all of us.
With them coming in town, we wanted to get our house looking good. We did a lot of week many weekends before they would come. We redid our roof on the back of the house (due to a stubborn leak), and we redid our back deck. It's looking amazing (in our opinion). We wanted a "Colorado" feel to it and I think we got it. I'll share pics later.

Another thing I've been extremely occupied was the preparation for Dwayne's surprise 40th birthday party. He turned 41 in June, but I had planned a 40th birthday celebration for him last year. I thought it would be so perfect. Noah would be home from the hospital, I would still be on maternity leave and we could just celebrate. Well, as you know plans change and ours did too. It changed from it will be a surprise 40th birthday celebration (a little late) combined with a welcome home party for Noah. Well, it changed again. Nothing happened. No celebration. No party. It just turned into a big shit sandwich!!

This year was gonna be different. I wanted to celebrate Dwayne. He works so darn hard for his family. For us. He still managed to work when our youngest son was fighting for his life in the hospital. I don't think I'll ever get over the sadness that Dwayne wasn't able to commit himself 150% to be with Noah when he wanted to be there. That makes me sad.

So I planned a 40th birthday surprise a year late! It turned out amazing. He had no clue whatsoever!

I planned it for 7/7. That day is a very special day to us. That's Noah's date of death. It would be a hard day. We knew that. It was actually hard leading up to that day. We knew we needed to be surrounded with love on that day. My dad and step mom would be with us on that day too. When I mentioned to them having the party for Dwayne on that day they were totally game. They were actually thrilled that they could come and help out and be part of the celebration. My family can never be a part of any celebration, so it was very special to have them with us.
I had one of Dwayne's friends help me. I needed to get Dwayne out of the house, because I wanted to have the party outside. His friend planned a bike ride for several guys. It was easy to get him out of the house. Another friend picked him up. He knew all about the party so he made sure to keep him away from the house until the guests had arrived.

Since Dwayne is a bikerider, I had been researching his cake for quite some time. I found a cool idea on the internet to add a road to the cake. I created a bikerider and bike out of fondant.
I got a little frustrated while making the cake and it didn't help that I was stressed to make sure it got done in time before the guests would arrive.

Here's the final result of the bicycle rider with his bike.


The cake was made out of chocolate cake. It had cool whip with melted chocolate in between the layers (we love chocolate in this house). Everything was edible on this cake. Mostly everything was fondant on the outside except for the spokes on the bicycle. Those were spaghetti.

Then there was the decoration. I wanted it to be manly. I picked yellow and black for the colors. We hung balloons on a string around the backyard. It looked so cool. Unfortunately the temps were above 100, so a lot of the balloons had popped from the heat. Such a bummer. And I think I mentioned my disappointment a lot that night. I made table runners out of burlap. I bought mason jars for candle holders. Added some marbles in the bottom, added water and a heart shaped floating candle. (It just had to be hearts for Noah). And tied a little straw ribbon around the top.




Then there was the food. The cake was in place. Since I had been watching the weather forecast I knew it was gonna be hot. I wanted something cooling.

So I found this great receipe from Frugal Girls: The cheesecake frozen yogurt pops were delicious. I changed up the receipe a little bit. Instead of making it strictly cherry, I added a mixture of frozen fruits instead of frozen cherries. My bag had pineapple, strawberries, peach and mango in it. And instead of cherry juice I just bought a fruit punch juice.

My stepmom made some delicious meat balls. We also served hot dogs, chips, fruit salad, pasta salad and I wanted some kind of potato dish. Instead I found a receipe on pinterest for some tasty zucchini bites.
They compared them to tater tots, just healthier. Here is the receipe. The only diffence I did was to use plain bread crumbs since that's what I had on hand. I heard they were really good too. I never tried them since everyone seemed to wanting to eat them, so I left them for the guests instead. I'm planning on making them soon again, since they could be great for the freezer and an easy help for dinner one night when working.

Also my mother in law made Dwayne's favorite. Little cheese cakes. My good friend, Chrissy also brought an appetizer. Yum!

I just never took many pictures from the party. Must have the good tasting wine and beer that distracted me :-) But here's a picture of the food table with not too many leftovers (yay)!



We had about 30 guests including us. I was so thankful to all who could come out to help celebrate Dwayne. Also a big thanks to the guys who kept Dwayne occupied before the party. I think this 40th birthday celebration was pretty spectacular! And I think the birthday "boy" thought the same thing.

RIP Oakes

Where do I start? This is so hard to write. I never thought that Oakes wouldn't make it. He always seemed to find a way back after having his setbacks. And believe me, he had many.
He had a special way of bouncing back to smiles, to charming everyone. Charming his friends, family, nurses and even people he never met in person but just thru pictures. He had the most fight in him I have ever seen.
Oakes and his parents and older sister was a family we "met" at the hospital when Noah was there. When I say "met", we really didn't meet there. Pretty amazing huh? Considering the unit they were in was small, only 12 beds. And they were there at the same time together. Becky (Oakes's mom) told me later that she saw us in the hall, but I never did. Oh, how I wish I did. When I went to visit Noah, I never looked into the other rooms I passed. Noah was in room 11 and one of the last rooms in the unit. I walked by ten other beds before Noah's room. But I just never felt that it was right for me to look into someone else's room. I felt I was invading their space if I would do that.
Becky reached out to me after Noah died thru facebook. We started to message back and forth and at first I thought she was our next door neighbor. That's how clueless I was. I would say we have a pretty neat friendship considering we actually have only been together a few times and it's usually been for events.
Oakes was born with a congenital heart defect (CHD) and he had two heart surgeries and a double lung transplant. Not to mention countless treatments and procedures. He was/IS a strong little dude and I feel priveliged to have met him.

You can read more about Oakes's life here. Both Oakes's momma and pappa are amazing writers. They are so good with words.

Tomorrow we celebrate you, Oakes.

Forever missed. Forever loved.

3/10/11 - 6/6/12

Just because

It's Saturday evening. Lucas is bugging about dinner, but I have to real quick share this picture I took of Lucas a couple of weeks ago. I absolutely am IN LOVE with this picture of my oldest son. Can you just not hear his giggles just looking at this picture? I hate the staged smile whenever I bring out the camera. It's so hard to get his personality and his true smiles to show in pictures. Normally he complains about having to get his picture taken, so that don't make it easier. But THIS is just perfection. I can't say how much I love being his mom. I'm so thankful that I was choosen.

Wordless Wednesday

Pajamas day

Noah's whole little life he didn't wear much clothes. My guess is the doctor/nurses didn't have time to mess with clothes. Believe me... they were occupied enough with diaper changes, check temperature every hour, give medicine, lab work, baths and etc. And that's just the normal routine. I think I summed up pretty much what a "boring" day consists of. It's a lot more work for them if Noah would have procedures, tests etc. So needless to say Noah was a pretty naked kid much of his life except for the occasional socks, which he always would figure out how to kick off. His wardrope pretty much consisted of a diaper.
Except for one weekend. One weekend I will forever, and I mean that....FOREVER will cherish SO much. That weekend my child, my baby didn't look nearly as sick. That weekend my little baby boy wore clothes for two days. The clothes hid the wires, stickers etc. which made my baby look like a normal baby.
The pictures below are taken exactly one year ago today. Yes, you might think not because of the date on his forehead, but those stickers would stay on him for a few days at times.
Yvonne, his nurse that weekend, had him all dressed when we came to see him on Saturday May 28th 2011. Yvonne was one of Noah's nurses who always came to check on him, even if Noah wasn't her "child" for the day. Yvonne also was the one to make sure he got a lot of time sitting in his bobby. A lot of time in the bobby was good for Noah's lungs. So even though you can't see the bobby, we used some hospital blankets to cover it with, he was sitting up like a big boy in the pictures below.

You might have seen the pictures before, but check him out again. How CUTE is he with his I love mommy pajamas?? This outfit was given to us from a dear friend of mine, Tracey. She sent me several outfits. This one is now hanging in a shadow box on the wall.
The next day Noah wore an outfit again. This time it was one of Lucas's pajamas. It was so neat an outfit that both of my boys wore.

Wordless Wednesday